All Of My Days Have Been Misspent
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Nuggets

2004-09-22 & 9:40 p.m.


Just some random juicy nuggets of my creamy goodness for your enjoyment....

After many years, I have decided that I no longer am content to have a wart on the ring finger of my right hand. I was content with my wart previously but lately it has started being painful and that is not cool. I was fine with the wart being there as long as it was dormant and didn't raise a fuss. But now it seems he is complaining about his living conditions and I am going to evict his ass.

I got a new watch not too long ago. I wore it to work. Ashley made me take it off because she insisted it was too butch. So I did. And now I don't wear it in her prescence. Why am I such a pansy ass pussy when I am around Ashley? Around everyone else I am confident and downright sassy but around Ashley I melt into a pile of unconfident goo. I suck on many levels for allowing myself to be that way.

Does anyone else without babies in the house go through a case of baby wipes every month like I do?

I got out my record player today and played some records. It is amazing how much better Fleetwood Mac's "Rumours" sounds when you are playing a record that was originally released in 1977 and you have an original released in 1977 copy.

I got new slippers. They say "Chicks Rule" on them.

Annie Duke kicked some major MAN ass in the World Series of Poker: Tournament of Champions. When she knocked out Phil Helmuth, I think I might have peed a little.

I went to Burger King today completely anticipating that it would taste so good and I would feel so guilty for eating its fatty fast food goodness. It tasted so horrible, I threw it away after like 2 bites. I just cannot fill my body with that shit anymore. (I say that but I can still be found frequenting the Taco Bell drive thru....)

Which of my great collection of novels should I re-read? Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood? A Harry Potter novel? Bridget Jones? I can't seem to read NEW books. I just keep rereading the old ones. Is this a psychological disorder? Does it have a name?

I saw an action figure at a collector store in Pike Place last week called "Crazy Cat Lady." It was funny.

Does anyone else find Wanda Sykes voice to be incredibly annoying?

My butt is asleep.

I leave you with this: From Reno 911! which I heart more than I heart the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Company Fudge, and that is a lot.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel : What are you doin out here today, Terry?
Terry : What?
Deputy Trudy Wiegel : What are you doin out here today?
Terry : Just out... watching over stuff.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel : Mmk. Looks like maybe you're doin a little uhh prostitution out here today, Terry, is that possible?
Terry : No, no I'm not. I'm sooo not.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel : Terry, are you on anything today?
Terry : I'm not. I quit. I don't even... I don't even drink.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel : You seem a little jittery right now, Terry. Are you trying to tell me you're not on any substances?
Terry : I had skittles.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel : You're jittery from skittles?
Terry : Yes.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel : [looking at Terry's eyes] Interesting. You're eyes are real dialated and they seem sort of joggin around a little bit.
Terry : Well have you ever had skittles? It's all sugar.




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