All Of My Days Have Been Misspent
My mom is 47 years old today. Now before y'all jump all over me for saying her age, my mom is not like that. Hell she was rounding up to seven at midnight on New Years Eve. I hope she is having a nice birthday. She is spending it with my aunt and my grandpa so that is debatable. She is also being forced to go to the symphony. I asked my mom what she was doing for her birthday:
Mom: We're going to the symphony. *Sigh*
Me: Since when do you enjoy the symphony...
Mom: Since Pam wants to go...
Me: OOOOhhhhhh...I see.....tell her to fuck off cause it's your birthday.
Mom: No its okay....I don't mind.
Well....that's my mom. God, I can't stand spending time with her sister. My aunt is a miserable person. I've been on to her since I was 12 years old.
She was visiting us one time and she would always tell my mom how to raise us. That always pissed me off because I didn't like the way she talked to my mom. She was so condescending and bitchy to my mom. Shannon and I were fighting and Pam said,"I didn't come here to listen to you fight." And I replied,"Then leave." and walked away. My mom rushed me into my dad to tattle on me. I am sure she was positive my dad would punish me. My mom relayed the story to my dad and my dad laughed and said, "Good for you Court."
Things I have done today:
-Started a riot in a Qdoba.
-Singlehandedly bankrupted an entire Target store
-Made a very tired traveler whose flight had been cancelled have a nervous breakdown
Now that we all know that I can exxagerate to make my day sound more interesting, let me explain.
I was in the Qdoba and I got a taco and some chips. The guy taking my money forgot to give me my change. I pointed it out and he had to go get the older guy/manager to come open the drawer. As the manager walked away he said something snarky and the cashier guy flipped out and they started fighting. Another employee had to break them up and give me my changed. I started a riot...see?
While at Target, I noticed this cool 4 peice bath furniture thing that was on clearance. A closer look of the price noticed that it was 13 dollars. The original price was 50 as printed on the box. I squinted and reexamined it. It indeed said 13 dollars. SCORE. I slammed that baby in my red plastic cart. When I got to the check out, the gal who rang it up was confused. When she typed the price off the sticker in, it said it was for fireplace tools. She called the manager and the manager said she had to give it to me for 13 bucks. Then she got on her walkie talkie and reamed "Ron" a new asshole for pricing these incorrectly. Sorry Ron....I single handedly bankrupted a Target...see?
Whilst I was cat sitting, the phone kept ringing with a number I didn't recognize. I only answer the numbers I recognize when I pet sit. After it rang about 6 times, I picked the phone up and answered it angrily. (Mistake number one: Don't answer other people's phones rudely, What the fuck was I thinking?) It was Jeff, one of the owners of the cats. He has been travelling all day and his flight had been cancelled and he needed the number to his hotel (which he didn't have with him) so he could call them so they wouldn't give away his room. But because I didn't answer he worried that something happened to me or the cats and began to panic. I mean I should know better because these people have someone come watch their cats ANYTIME they go ANYWHERE because they are worried something might happen to them. So Jeff was completely panicked and sounded like he was on a thin thread. Turns out he was....he had been up all night because he was trying to meet a deadline and then got to the airport to a flight delay and then arrived in Philadelphia to find his Orlando flight cancelled. So unfortunately this was no exxageration. I did cause a really tired traveler to have a nervous breakdown.
I cannot believe those of you who were shocked about the asshole picture. Have I ever let you down before? (Besides the time I said I was going to post naked pictures...that was just something Uncle Bob told me to do and you know when UB tells you to do something...you do it.)
