Everyone give big props to:
Trinity63 for offering to beat up the mean man.
Saladwhore for offering to "bore" the mean man with readings from her "boring" diary* to get him nice and weak for Trin to beat up.
And lastly to....
Devian for writing a song that is now one of my favorites and cheered me up almost instantly because it is a great song and because I got to hear him singing. :)