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God, I hate my neighbor.

2004-07-05 & 6:01 p.m.


"I'm very inappropriate, which makes me a problem dinner guest, because at some point during the evening someone inevitably says, "Okay, heh heh heh, okay, too much information! Heh heh heh. Don't go there!" I live there. I bought a house there. "-Margaret Cho

Yeah so like that is me. That gets said to me a lot. I just don't really believe there is too much information.

Nothing says celebrating your birthday like scrubbing pee stains out of carpet while watching Queer as Folk at 10 o'clock at night. Happy Birthday to me! Woohoo! No fireworks, no cake, just me, some Resolve, a scrub brush and gay men on television. What more could a girl want?

Thank god for everyone's birthday wishes or I would have had NOTHING at all enjoyable about my birthday. I really appreciated all the birthday wishes. That was totally needle to the vein for an attention junkie like me.


I hate my neighbor. He is washing his cars right now in the driveway. He is committing many offenses currently.

Offense Number One:

Wearing cut-offs. Oh no he didn't. He is a man. Men wearing cut off....big no no. Short cutoffs! What the hell?

Offense Number Two:

He sprayed my car with the hose when I drove into my garage. I think it was accidental but I am not sure. It could quite possibly have been an insult or something. But don't spray my car with your fucking hose as I drive by. That isn't funny you Jesus loving cut off wearing "No charcoal barbeque" rule writing fuckerpants assclown.

Offense Number Three:

He was scrubbing the dirt off his Jesus fish with a small scrub brush. This is just wrong on so many levels. What is he thinking?

"Jesus won't love me if I don't scrub the dirt of his holy representation I have placed on my car."

"People with dirty Jesus fish on their cars go to hell."

"Jesus loves me this I know.....for the Bible tells me so....."

God, I hate my neighbor.



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