All Of My Days Have Been Misspent
*Ring Ring*
Me: Hello?
Ashley: Where are you?
Me: The house where I am housesitting.
A: Come to that dive bar by the QFC.
Me: I am like in my pajamas, NO.
A: Just do it. Noone cares. We are all still in our uniforms.
Me: Who is we?
A: Me, Crystal, Jen, Heather.
Me: Okay. I will be there soon.
Ever suspicious of the person who has been treating my like a peice of dog shit on the bottom of her shoe, I prepared myself for some sort of humiliation or some sort of yelling at about my lifestyle choices or something of the like.
I walk into the bar preparing for the worst of course. I see Jen and go sit at the table. She was the only one sitting there. Ashley and Crystal were at the Jukebox picking out all the Journey and Aerosmith songs they could find.
Ashley: COURTNEY....
Me: What? I am over here.
Ashley comes and sits next to me.
Ashley: I asked you to come here tonight because I wanted to talk to you about what has been going on between us lately.
Me: Nothing has been going on between us besides you treating me like shit.
Ashley: I know. I have been really mean to you lately and I don't know why. It isn't like I am mad at you for being a lesbian. That doesn't bother me. But I just cannot figure out why I am being so mean to you. You didn't do anything wrong.
Me: I know I didn't do anything wrong.
Ashley: I know. I have talked to everybody about it and I just cannot get past it. I want you to learn and I want you to grow. But I cannot like watch you moving on. It makes me think that you don't need me or that I cannot be as important to you as Karen. Maybe I am jealous about that. Maybe I am jealous because Karen is like your best friend now and I couldn't be that for you, like the way she is. Maybe I am jealous of that. I don't know. All I know is I was being mean to you for no reason and I have to stop. It is getting in the way of work and that can't happen at all.
Me: I know. I just needed you and I needed your support so much but you weren't there for me. I am not sure that I am ready to forgive you for that.
Ashley: Well can we make it a clean slate?
Me: Yes. But I don't think things will be the same as before. What you put me through caused me to put you behind me and I realized that I didn't need you and I didn't need your approval for everything. I am not the same person that you knew 3 months ago.
Ashley: I realize that. I just really miss you and I want to stop being mean to you and I want you in my life again.
Yeah, peel me off the ceiling. But for now, as long as the meanness has ceased, Ashley is kinda sorta my friend again.
