All Of My Days Have Been Misspent
Dear Nyquil,
I love you. I sometimes abuse you but you are always there for me. My nose will be stuffed, I will be unable to sleep and you will be there for me. I love that about you. When my left nostril is being insubbordinate, you kick her ass into shape. When my body says "Caffeine will keep me awake", you say, "Shut yo mouth bitch, Nyquil is in charge now!".
Forever in your debt,
Fargahar
My trainer, Christopher, has way too much energy. He is a total dorkwad but I love him nonetheless. I have never seen anyone get so excited while another person is doing pull ups in my life. I have also never seen someone so excited about another person having "perfect form on the lat pull down". He loves his job. You can tell that. And he calls me "Skinny" so he is a keeper.
I told him about FreakMan. He hadn't seen him before. He wasn't there or I would have pointed him out. He didn't believe me at first but there was this other woman in there doing her ab work and she commented that she had seen him too.
Why do people think I am making this up? I can't make this shit up. I am not that fucking creative. Okay I am...but I am so not a liar. I am an exaggerator and a fibber but a liar I am not. Okay unless I am like calling fake sick into work or I don't want to housesit for a difficult client. Or when I am telling my husband how much the new dog bed carseat for Charlie was. Okay so I lie. EVERYONE LIES...get off my fucking back. I just don't lie here. There is no reason to. FreakMan exists and I will get a video if necessary.
If humans acted as their dogs did, right now I would be lying on a rug staring at my empty food dish letting out small whimpers.
