All Of My Days Have Been Misspent
So I am no longer a Karaoke Virgin. I know! So I did it last night. I had a couple beers (read: 6) and I sang my little heart out. Now I am thinking that I am an addict. I am like, "Hey Ashley...we're going next week too right?" Because I was a virgin, I picked country songs to sing because I felt that they were far easier to sing. There was this hoe-gly, na-hastay chick who kept singing shit that she shouldn't have been singing. She sang, Celine Dion's "Power of Love". I was all, "Oh no she didn't" ala a Ricki Lake/Jerry Springer guest. There was another chick who was so fucking wasted. The DJ called her name and she came up and just started singing before he even started the cd. Then she handed him the mic and walked away before her shit even started. My favorite was this old wasted dude who tried to sing "War". He sang "War, what is it good for?" then he screamed,"Absolutely NOTHING!", dropped the mic on the floor and passed out. I was cracking the fuck up! I have never even been somewhere where people are doing karaoke before so this was a whole new experience for me. Not to mention that the bar we happened to wander into was a total dive bar. I lost my Karaoke Virginity singing "Wide Open Spaces" which seemed fitting. Then I sang "Girls Night Out" by the Judds. Ashley and I sang a duet to "Hold on" by Wilson Phillips. We also did "Turn Around" but we sang it like that wedding singer from Old School. "Turn around, every now I get a little bit nervous I see that fucking look in your eyes. Turn around, bright eyes fuckin' every now and then I fall apart. And I need you now tonight I fucking need you more than ever." I then performed a stunning rendition of K.T. Oslin's "Come Next Monday". The DJ and his girl then did some lame ass retarded Moulin Rouge medley. I got the crowd back going again with some "Sin Wagon". A chick who sounded like a mouse then tried to sing 'Love is a Battlefeild". Ashley and I closed the night out with "Friends in Low Places." It was a lot of fun so now I am totally geared up for Journalcon!!!
Everybody remember to watch The Nick and Jessica Variety Hour tonight!
