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Multitasking

2004-03-30 & 9:05 a.m.


I am a multitasker. I always have been. I like to always be doing two things (or maybe even three if possible) at the same time. I have the tv on and I am watching Designing Women while I write this entry and eat a Krispy Kreme. My favorite place to multitask is in the bathroom. To me, when you are �taking care of business�, it is a waste of time to just sit there. For god sakes, DO SOMETHING. Don�t just sit there, read, knit, listen to music�.something. Like Jeff Goldblum�s character in The Big Chill says, �I write for People Magazine. The goal is to not write anything longer than someone can read during the average crap.�

Last night, I was dog tired. So I was multitasking in an attempt to hurry my efforts to get to bed sooner. So while I was *ahem*, I was also brushing my teeth. Now I would like to go on record as to saying, I am not coordinated when I am alert so I don�t know what made me think having my toothbrush anywhere near the toilet at late o�clock at night when I could barely keep my eyes open was a good idea. Also I was housesitting and attempting to do all this in TiniestBathroomEver �, the sink like sits on top of the toilet. As I was sitting there brushing I was thinking, �Don�t drop your toothbrush. Don�t drop your toothbrush.� I finished my business without dropping my toothbrush. I even made it back over to the sink, spit and rinse. Then as I was hitting my toothbrush against the side of the sink to get excess water out of it, it slipped out of my hand, did some weird gravity defying flip flops and landed in the toilet. Motherfucker! I made it through everything without dropping it in the toilet and then just when I was in the home stretch that bitch of a toothbrush flew out of my hands and landed in the mothafuckin� toilet. I have to go get a new toothbrush now. Thank god it was only Lana, the Oral B toothbrush and not Harvey the Sonicare. (Yeah I have this thing about naming stuff� wanna meet the birthmark on my ass named Herman? He is quite a sight�. or how about Ivar the bookshelf?)



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