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About Cats and Diets

2004-03-27 & 1:04 p.m.


Meeeeeoooowww!!!!

No Tucca, you are not going outside. Shut up!

Raaaaawwwwwaaaarrrr!!!!

Goddamnit! No Tucca! SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Meeeeeooooowww!

I am not giving in! I am not going to let you outside just because you are meowing obnoxiously.

Fast forward two hours�..Tucca is outside enjoying the sunshine and consuming copious amounts of grass which she will vomit on the bed later. Baby Cat and Neo are gazing longingly outside but aren�t nearly as insistent nor persistent as Tucca.


The clients I am house-sitting for currently own every book ever written, including books about The Zone, Atkins Diet, The South Beach Diet and a few other fad diets that are circulating the market. Anytime a diet comes out as the newest hippest weight loss solution I am always skeptical because look at what they were �recommending� years ago and look at what they are recommending now. Seriously, I don�t think anyone knows what is good for anybody anymore. Like diets that restrict your consumption of fruits and vegetables that is ridiculous. Humans (and many other animals in the vast animal kingdom) have existed on fruits and vegetables for billions of years. Anyways, I cracked open the South Beach Diet book last night because I wanted to see what that was all about so when I bashed it along with all the other diets I bash, I would be learned. I always like to have knowledge of the subjects I criticize. My personal number one problem with diets is they are too limiting. I already only like a limited amount of things because I am so damn picky. Now trying to find a diet which includes the limited amount of things I actually like to eat is damn near impossible. For example, consistently through the South Beach Diet book they suggest that you eat a �wedge of Laughing Cow cheese smeared into a piece of celery�. Okay well I can do the cheese but I hate celery. As another snack they suggest, some sort of vegetable rollup thing that is full of onions. I am allergic to onions. Another thing that these diets are full of is fish. I am just not a fish eating person. I only like fish that is breaded and comes in a box from Mrs. Paul or my friend, Gorton and his fisherman friends. Basically when it boils down to it, I found that I never lost a single pound when trying to diet. But when I exercised and ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, I lost 50 pounds.



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