The husband: Blathering about something I didn't care about
Me: Can you please be quiet?
TH: Sure...whatever.
Me: Thank you. I have more invested in their relationship than I do in ours.
Talking about visiting San Fransisco:
Me: I guess I can look on the bright side...I always wanted to go to San Fransisco.
TH: Me too.
Me: WITHOUT YOU! You cramp my style.
From Roseanne:
Dan: "I've been watching tv for job ideas. I've got it narrowed down to weatherman, Time Life Operator, psychic friend or castaway."