Hey Madison Avenue, Lighten Up!
2004-01-13 & 10:57 a.m.
The neighbors have a new name. They are Mr. and Mrs. Stompy McStomperson. For as much as they complain about the dogs, I should be complaining like a mofo. But I am too nice...FUCK YOU McStompersons. They have ruined many things in my life. Everyday things that regularly pissed me off now piss me off more because assholes live upstairs. Do you know what makes my blood boil? (who came up with that saying? My grandma used to always say it.) Anyways, what makes my blood boil...when people call me EARLY in the morning. There are only a few things in this world that make me angry to the point of being murderous. One is eating my food (Just kidding...here husband have some tea..I made it SPECIAL for you....just for you), another is when the dogs steal food from each other especially Charlie Pooh Bear, slow drivers who cut in front of me, not getting through the green light after a long line of cars are waiting and having to sit there through another light cycle, when people walk against the grain or really slowly at the mall, when my mother in law shows up uninvited...I said only a few...oops! Anyways, I digress. I hate early morning phone calls. I'll bet you can't think of how I could possibly blame this on the neighbors but I can. A while back because the neighbors would complain when the dogs barked if we came home late at night the husband and I started calling to let whoever was home that we were coming and to control the dogs. Well now the fuckers have gone all Pavlov on us and everytime the fucking phone rings they bark like crazy bastards. So as if early morning calls were not annoying enough now whenever the phone rings the dogs go apeshit. GOOD TIMES!!The thing with me is...I paid for this condo and I am going to stay here. They can complain all they want but the thing is I am not doing anything illegal. The rules state that it is prohibited to do anything in your home that "another resident can hear in their home". Alrighty then, the neighbors will have to refrain from running the dishwasher, flushing the toilet, walking, dropping stuff, showering, opening their gargage door, starting their car, and washing their clothing. (BTW, isn't that the dumbest rule ever..and that is a direct quote from the property manager) I'm not going down. I will turn myself into their own private Mr. Heckles.
And if something happens and they really piss me off everytime a condo is for sale, my ass will stand out their with a big sign that says, "Don't move in here. Your neighbors are assholes." and the seller will have to come out and bribe me to discontinue. If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me. I am that asshole in an action movie who grabs other people as she falls off the bridge.
What Do You Have to Say About It?
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