All Of My Days Have Been Misspent
I made the most bitchin' mac and cheese today..homemade of course. 8 different types of cheese and I used cream (fat free) for the sauce so it was extra cheesy and creamy. "I gotta get in shape or hope ponchos come back in style." (Kevin James)
More of the attention whores in the family are coming out of the woodwork. My aunt Kelly signed the book. If all of my family is going to be reading now I guess I will have to refrain from making fun of them. I will have to just make fun of the husbands family.
So he went on that snowshoeing trip today and his mother was paranoid that he was going to get killed in an avalanche and then his grandma called in a panic saying she had just heard about some hikers that died and he better call her right away so she can make sure he is still alive. No wonder the husband is a paranoid retard. When he was younger, every time he moved they were probably like,"Be careful with that soft nerf ball. It might kill you."(I must say I enjoy the shower scene from "Best Little Whorehouse".) Apparently when he was younger (like 6) his mother and grandmother would not let him ever eat ice cream because he would get pneumonia, they insisted. Now he has this ice cream obsession as an adult because he was so deprived. Then there were my parents...throwing us in the deep end and screaming, "Sink or swim". (Not literally..but they weren't paranoid...as long as we didn't kill ourselves or each other it was okay)
I was watching CNN earlier and they were discussing "Today's Top Stories" and they listed them out...
1) Egyptian Plane Crash
2) Tony Blair Visiting Iraq
3) Britney Spears Wedding
NO WONDER THE UNITED STATES IS THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!! Is that really the best they can come up with? I am also loving the conspiracy theorists who think that Britney's "marriage" was a guise so that Bennifer could be joined as one. Yeah..that is a conspiracy theory. Right up there with the Second Gunman at the Grassy Knoll.
The husband and I were watching television for lack of anything better to do because it is colder than a witches fuckin titty out. We stumbled upon a really education program. It was entitled "Britney versus Christina". Apparently the purpose of this program was to decide which of the two was more powerful in Hollywood. Well in case you were wondering and would not be able to sleep this evening unless I told you...Christina won. So I guess being Madonna's sloppy seconds gets everyone feeling sorry enough for you to cause VH1 to declare you the winner of a "major feud".
Kevin James on dieting:
"Most people want to look good in a bathing suit or lower their cholseterol, my goal is for my stomach not to jiggle when I brush my teeth."
