All Of My Days Have Been Misspent
Words of Wisdom from Grandpa Simpson
Grandpa:: If I'm not back at the home by nine they declare me legally dead and collect my insurance!
Bart vs. Thanksgiving
Grandpa:, writing a letter: Dear Mr. President. There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.
The Front
Grandpa:: I say we call Matlock. He'll find the culprit. It's probably that evil Gavin MacLeod or George "Goober" Lindsay.
Bart: Grandpa:, Matlock's not real.
Grandpa:: Neither are my teeth, but I can still eat corn on the cob, if someone cuts it off and smushes it into a fine paste.
Cape Feare
Bart: Grandpa:, why don't you tell us a story? You've led an interesting life.
Grandpa:: That's a lie and you know it! But I have seen a lot of movies...
Treehouse of Horror III
Grandpa:: The good Lord lets us grow old for a reason: to gain the wisdom to find fault with everything He's made.
Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy
