All Of My Days Have Been Misspent
Stuffing Out The Sofa
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I love my job....

2004-11-18 & 9:36 p.m.


The lovely doctor I work for with everyday has had a history of not getting along well with her previous assistants. I, however, am not like her previous assistants. She can treat me like an idiot all day. I don't scream at her. I don't snap at her. I just make fun of her behind her back like most normal people would do. I consistently fight the urge to flick her in the forehead when she is driving me insane.

Reasons why she drives me insane:
1) The constant pen stealing
2) The reviewing of the chart to find the last Rabies vaccine despite the fact that a minute ago I JUST TOLD HER when the last Rabies vaccine was done.
3) The fact that she always uses this one medication for cat fight abscesses so I got into the habit of writing the medication up before she actually orders it because I know she will order it. She caught on to the fact that I was doing that so every time I do that now, she crosses it out and writes up a different medication. But if I don't write it up in advance, then she will want the medication she ALWAYS uses. The same goes for if I set up for a procedure in advance. I know what stuff she needs, I get it out for her and set it up. When I do this, she proceeds to get all the stuff out on her own and set it right next to the stuff I got out for her. Like I was getting it out for someone else and she is the only one capable of setting up for herself.
4) The fact that she can do half the appointments of the other doctor in the same amount of time and he never complains, ever. She constantly complains about being "slammed" and tells clients that she "has been talking all day so excuse her if she doesn't talk to them as much". What great incredible customer service you are providing....yes.
5) The shirt with the holes in it. I told you that the shirt had holes in it. I told you not to wear the shirt anymore because it looked like it had been blessed by the Pope. But you still wear it....once a week. On the day I work. On purpose. And it has 4 new holes in it from like a month ago. Keep wearing it bitch. It will soon be a scrap. But I bet you will fucking wear it to work. JUST.FOR.ME.
6) The holding of the door knob. When you are done, I want to leave. I need to get into the next room and start them. When you stand there holding on to the door knob or the chart for that matter, there is nothing I can do except stand there like a fucking retard. Thank you for that.
7) The complaining that I talk to the client too much during your appointments. Yeah, that was great. I really enjoy standing there like a mindless drone mute person. It really adds a lot of enjoyment to my day. Which is all ready this huge bucket of juicy fun because I get to spend it with you.
8) YOUR PANTS ARE WAY TOO BIG. You are a size 4 and you wear a size 8 pant everyday. It is too big and I did not need to know that you also prefer the Victoria's Secret V-string thong.
9) For constantly getting involved in or attempting to get involved in things that don't concern her. Like the scheduling of employees. The head doctor and his wife are the boss. You are not. You are just another employee. Shut up and do your job. What the hell does it matter to you who works when as long as your ass is here and you do your job? It never affects you. But yet you have to make this HUGE deal about it.
10) The soup. Oh the soup. Eating the SOUP EVERY DAY. AND SLURPING IT. OH THE SLURPING.
11) It's pronounces ANTI-BI-OTIC. Not ANT-I-BOTIC. Say it with me, ANTI-BI-OTIC. And it is pronounced ES-SPECIAL-LY, not EG-SPECIALLY.

I love my job....


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