All Of My Days Have Been Misspent
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Is the prize worth the rocky ride?

2004-11-01 & 11:43 p.m.


Did I ever tell you all about Natalie? Natalie and I were inseperable. From the moment we met, we had so much in common. We were great friends. We weren't popular, but we had each other and our little group of friends. We spent all our time together. We had classes together. We slept over at each others houses all the time. For the entire year of 8th grade, Natalie and I were best friends. Until Natalie decided she didn't want to be friends with me anymore.

Did I ever tell you about Erin? Erin and I were best friends. Or at least I thought we were. We spent a lot of time together. We confided things in each other. We helped each other transition through difficult changes in both our lives. One day, Erin decided that she didn't want to be friends with me anymore.

I know I have told you about Ashley. Ashley and I were best friends. We worked together. We bonded more than I had bonded with any other friend I had before. We talked for hours about everything. One day, Ashley decided that she didn't want to be friends with me anymore.

A huge part of me is sick of this cycle. I am battered from it. I weather the storms and forge new friendships but I can't take much more of this. I wonder what is wrong with me. Why does this happen to me? I know that people will leave me comments that there is nothing wrong with me but I am thinking that is bullshit. All these people can't be that wrong. I mean really....am I too needy? Am I too much for people? I just can't figure it out.
It makes me not want to reach out to people anymore. Why take that step when I am the one that ends up getting hurt in the end? Why keep taking that chance? Obviously it isn't working out for me.


What Do You Have to Say About It?



<<<< relive my past & step into the future >>>>

Wilted Tulip - 2005-08-10
"Mullets of America: Step Away From this Femme" - 2005-05-27
Iím the dyke who will give it to you - 2005-05-11
Trail Mix - 2005-05-04
Can I be random? - 2005-04-27