All Of My Days Have Been Misspent
The Husband: Jim, you remember my wife Courtney?
GeekyBossmanJim: Yes, from the Christmas party of course. How are you doing Courtney?
Me: Oh fine.
What follows this already awkward introduction is a discussion on the weather, a shocked reaction to the amount of pets I have, someone telling a story about their dog thinking I would be remotely interested and then an awkward silence. To relieve myself from the awkward silence, I had to pretend I was cold, which I wasn't. But it was an excuse to go back to the car and get my jacket. The only thing that sucked after that was I was really hot but I had to wear the jacket for a little while so that noone was sitting there all, "Hey she went to get her jacket and now she isn't wearing it...what is her problem?"
Also there is my entire bee paranoia "I need to go on the Maury Povich Show for insane fears" fear of bees. Everytime one came near me I took off running like a crazed maniac. Quite embarassing if I do say so myself but it seems to be that I cannot turn that fear off. I am beginning to find that picnics are just a huge pit of disabling fear for me. I am beginning to despise picnic foods. Hasn't anyone thought up indoor parties? Must every party be outdoors? It is like "Hey let's have a party for the bees" and we'll invite Courtney. It will be great fun.
Yesterday brought me joy in the form of a new phrase that I will currently be working into my vernacular. This term is "bucket of yuk". It refers to any ugly ass person dressed in ugly assed clothing. Also describing a greasy ass dirty looking person. Usages would include: "Hey look at that bucket of yuk walking down the street there." or "The other day I had to run to store for some tampons. I had no makeup on, it was a total bucket of yuk day." Get it? Use it people. Love it. But don't rip it off because I already did that from the person who made it up.
