All Of My Days Have Been Misspent
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Oh, toenails not cut right.

2004-06-02 & 4:57 p.m.


Me: Hi I am here for my 11:15 pedicure appointment.

Little Asian Lady (and by little, I mean 4'3" seriously): Pick out polish, sit and someone be up in one minute.

15 minutes later.....

Another Little Asian Lady who is slightly taller than last Asian lady: Come back, I am ready.

Me: Okay, thanks.

I roll up my jeans and expose my badly in need of a pedicure feet.

ALAL: Oh, toenails short. I just file, ok?

Me: Sure, whatever.

ALAL: Oh, toenails not cut right. You going to get ingrown toenail you keep cutting toenail like that.

Me: I know. Everyone tells me that. (I like to think of myself as a toenail rebel....apparently.)


Dear Guy Who Owns the Pet Wash,

I do not appreciate your "help". Go away from me when I am bathing my dogs. I know what I am doing because sadly for a short period in my life I was a Dog Washer.

AND, just because every other pug you have ever seen weighs a metric ton, doesn't mean I starve mine. I just have this habit of letting my pugs actually be dogs rather than coddling them like litle babies and feeding them whatever they want. They expend a lot of energy running, swimming and fetching things. Most pugs don't partake in such activities. My pugs are not skinny, they are athletic. AND they are FAR from anorexic so back the fuck off with your "special" diets and your "supplements" that are a load of crap.

Thank you,

Courtney


Now I have to clean the house very very thoroughly because I sure as fuck know that my husband won't lift a goddamn finger other than to do some dishes when he inevitably runs out of forks or to do some laundry when he inevitably runs out of underwear.



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