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Baby Momma Drama

2004-05-06 & 11:11 a.m.


A IM conversation between me and the husband:

Fargahar says:

Shake yo' ass

Fargahar says:

watch yo' self

I-Man says:

Ok

I-Man says:

*Shakes ass and watches self*

Fargahar says:

yeah right....

Fargahar says:

*sits in chair types that out*

I-Man says:

What? Are you calling me a liar?

Fargahar says:

yes

I-Man says:

Bitch. Ok fine.

Fargahar says:

"Grommit's Milkshake brings all the puggies to the yard..."

Fargahar says:

He is way cuter than the Advair pug, the Advantage pug and that other pug in commercials who are all played by the same ugly pug

Fargahar says:

if only he was more obedient and didn't insist on making everyone touch his penis like some oversexed pedophile

I-Man says:

Like I said, you should pimp him out to TV and make us some money.

Fargahar says:

I could totally be a ShowBiz Parent.....

I-Man says:

How can a dog be a pedophile??

Fargahar says:

Grommit would totally be a diva too

Fargahar says:

Everything has pedophile, creepy molester or creepy in an oompa loompa sort of way potential

Fargahar says:

especially in my world

Fargahar says:

Grommit's Diva Demands:

I-Man says:

What world do you live in exactly?

Fargahar says:

1) Will only drink Evian from a crystal goblet

Fargahar says:

2) will only eat perfectly shapped Mr. Puglsy bones with .33 oz of caviar perfectly placed on the center of each one

Fargahar says:

3) must have a feather boa in every color available at his immediate disposal at all times

I-Man says:

How/Why do you even think of this stuff? Seriously...

Fargahar says:

4) Must have personal umbrella holder ala P. Diddy to shade his fur from the damaging rays of the sun

Fargahar says:

5) Must have a personal penis massager on staff at all times

Fargahar says:

6) must have some pug hoe bitches to hump in ever city. (and some man whore pug bitches for when his bisexual tendencies are in full force)

I-Man says:

Ok enough about doggie penis.

Fargahar says:

Whatever....I have to go eat some food because after 9:00 tonight food will no longer taste good and the world as we know it will cease to exist

I-Man says:

Oh, right.

I-Man says:

Better hurry then.

I-Man says:

Guess I won't see you...

I-Man says:

before the end of the world?

Fargahar says:

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU? NOW THAT I'VE BEEN LOVIN' YOU SO LONG? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CARRY ON? WHEN ALL THAT I'VE BEEN LIVIN' FOR IS GONE?"

Fargahar says:

No you won't see me before the end of the world.....

Fargahar says:

bummer.

Fargahar says:

well I better tell you this secret I have been meaning to tell you then.....

Fargahar says:

cause the world is over so I won't be able to take you on Jerry next month.....

I-Man says:

Because ONCE AGAIN volleyball is more important than me.

Fargahar says:

wait not Jerry.....I wanted to take you on Maury.....

Fargahar says:

anyways.....

Fargahar says:

You not the baby daddy.....

Fargahar says:

there are 8 other men who might be the baby daddy....

I-Man says:

8 other men that month??

Fargahar says:

No....eight men that day....

Fargahar says:

it was like 33 men that month

Fargahar says:

but Julio be sayin' that he can't get no woman pregnant.....

I-Man says:

Damn it, that's the THIRD time you fell for that.

I-Man says:

I told you he's a fucking liar.

Fargahar says:

and with the other 25 men I was using them condoms that I got at the dollar store so I am sure they ain't the baby daddy

Fargahar says:

hell I ain't sure I'm the baby momma

I-Man says:

You found the baby in a dumpster and though it was yours?

Fargahar says:

No...I didn't even know I was pregnant...

Fargahar says:

I still had my period and then my stomach hurt alittle and a few hours later I be wakin' up and everyone be tellin me I had a baby

Fargahar says:

I think they lyin



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