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Fargahar's Beauty Ritual

2004-03-20 & 5:22 p.m.


Step one: Pick something completely cheesy that will test your singing range. (Today I chose Celine Dion-A Decade of Song.)

Step two: Put hair in a pony tail.

Step three: Take off clothes.

Step four: Examine naked body in mirror checking for any blemishes, moles, stretch marks to obsess about. (This process includes spinning around in a circle many times in an attempt to examine my ass.)

Step five: Wash face with The Soap.

Step six: Apply The Mask.

Step seven: Start shower and CD.

Step eight: Stand in warm water for a couple of minutes careful to not wet your face.

Step nine: Begin Exfoliation Process using loofah and Cocoa Butter Body Scrub.

Step ten: Rinse face in warm shower. Splash cold water on face.

Step eleven: Wet hair. Apply Burt's Bees Avocado Hair Treatment.

Step twelve: Shave legs, armpits and "special places" with Venus Razor and Alba Mango Vanilla Shave Lotion.

Step thirteen: Rinse Hair treatment out and wash hair with Pureology Hydrate Shampoo. Rinse and repeat.

Step fourteen: Wash entire body with Victoria's Secret Amber Romance Shower Gel.

Step fifteen: Turn off shower and pat body dry.

Step sixteen: Apply Lancome Venefit Moisturizer to face and apply Lancome Absolue Eye under eyes.

Step seventeen: Shove Q-Tips into ears to absorb excess moisture.

Step eighteen: Massage Body Shop Sesame Body Butterinto all skin except face.

Step nineteen: Spray entire body with Victoria's Secret Amber Romance Body Spray.

Step twenty: Remove Q-tips from ears and put pajamas back on.



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