All Of My Days Have Been Misspent
The husband and I walked around Greenlake today and there were your usual cast of characters. One that continued to crack the husband and I up on a regular basis was a guy in neon yellow shorts and a white tank top. He was rollerblading around Greenlake and everytime he passed us he was singing somehting different. The first time he passed us he was belting Olivia Newton-John's "Physical". The second time he passed us he was singing "I've Got the Power" by Snap. So when we saw him approaching for the third time we were anxious to see what he would be singing this time. So the third time around....drumroll...he was singing "If You Wanna Be My Lover" by the Spice Girls. I am not kidding....honestly, I wish I was.
Another sort of funny thing happened while we were walking the pugs. Stewart stopped to make a deposit and Grommit decided to make one too. Someone came up with their pug and Grommit stopped mid shit to go say hello to that pug. Now I am not kidding. He did not even let the shit drop...he sucked it back in. And then did not finish for the rest of the 2 mile walk.
In the Whole Foods, there was a bearded lady. Now I am not talking some menopausal woman with a little peach fuzz. I am talking fucking Santa Claus with tits. I am so fucking immature too. I couldn't stop staring and I ran into 3 other people with my cart. But I am sorry...shave that shit...take some hormones....COME ON LADY!
I was having a discussion with the husband today about when I feel that people aren't commenting a lot that maybe I am not funny anymore or people aren't reading anymore. (I seriously am such an attention whore that I nearly have a nervous breakdown if my stats drop below 300.) The husband said that he thinks I am too funny all the time. He thinks that when there is so much funny people know I am funny so they don't bother to comment. Whereas other people have occassional funny moments and people point them out because that person is not always funny. He thinks people are taking my humor for granted. I was excited about this. He was like,"Why are you excited that people take you for granted?" I said,"It is an attention whore's dream to get taken for granted and to get stalked."
So I got my Entertainment Weekly this week and I see on the cover that they decided that Chris Rock is the funniest person in America. I don't think so. No fucking way. I do not like Chris Rock. I never have. Jon Stewart and the Daily Show was number 2. He should have been number one and Dave Chappelle should have been number 2. I was glad to see Dave Attell on the list. I want to be on his show. When he came to town we went to his show and then waited around afterwards to see if they might be filming his show but no such luck. Anyways, this isn't really going anywhere. I just don't think Chris Rock is funny.
We spent way too much money on groceries today. But they should last us for awhile. We should not be allowed to go shopping when we are hungry. I did not buy any Ben and Jerry's. I was proud of myself for that. But as far as other not so good for me things such as cookies and alfredo sauce, I plead, as Dave Chappelle would say, the fizzifth.
