All Of My Days Have Been Misspent
Me: Did you just fart?
TH: Yeah.
Me: IN THE SHOWER?
TH: A little.
Me: NO. This taints the entire shower. I have to rewash my entire body because it is now covered in fart steam.
TH: Farts are just air.
Me: Yeah air that passes through shit before it comes out your ass.
TH: It is just air.
Me: Yeah shit air. Tell me that you didn't fart on the soap?
TH: I didn't. (makes a face)
Me: Now I can't use that soap. It is tainted. This whole shower is tainted. I have to get out and dry off and start this shower over.
TH: You're crazy.
Me: Showering is like a religious experience to me. Farting in the shower is like yelling fuck you at a priest.
TH: *grabs MY shampoo*
Me: What are you doing?
TH: Washing my hair.
Me: Since when do you use my shampoo? For that matter since when do you use anything but Head and Shoulders..?
TH: I don't know because it is there.
Me: You don't change something because it is just there...that is not like you.
TH: Okay....because it smells good and it is all natural.
Me: Told you..you never change on a whim. It is always because of something. Fuck you have been using Head and Shoulders for the past 25 years of your life. You used it in Germany where they call it Das Head un Das Shoulders.
TH: You're crazy.
