All Of My Days Have Been Misspent
Stuffing Out The Sofa
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WARNING: NOT FOR UNCLE RUSS EYES

2004-02-08 & 11:14 p.m.


I wanted to recap last night but I had an outstanding assigment to complete courtesy of Demi-Orphan, that I had to finish prior to sharing all of last nights fun with y'all. Also I needed to recover because frankly I could get drunk from the recap.

It started at Tricia's Bridal Shower. Which I can tell you what I got her now but it requires some backstory. Tricia and I have been friends for oh...forever and an eternity. Or at least it is that long to me because I am 23 years old and we have been friends since we were 4...so for we have been friends for the better part of 2 decades now. Anyways, at one point we were having a sleep over at my house and it was Tricia, her sister, Jennifer and my sisters and I. I think we were about 10 or 11 years old. I forget who started this but someone took a bottle of Love's Baby Powder and we were pulling open each others pants/underwear and poofing powder on there and yelling out,"BUTT FAIRIES!!" So since then, we recall butt fairies with great sentiment. So for Tricia's bridal shower present, I got her a crystal powder holder and some fancy powder for her to perform butt fairies with her new husband if she so desires.

So her shower was fun. No lame games were played which I really appreciated. I was a bit befuddled as to why it was called a shower. (People clarified it to me that this is because we are showering said person with gifts.) However, I firmly believe that we should be showering with several attractive naked men and then since we had it...powdering them.

We then were all going to have a sleepover at Tricia's apartment. I was told that I need not bring anything because there was plenty of wine. However, for some reason if I get drunk on wine...I am paying for it the next day. I stopped and got some Malibu and another gal grabbed some Vodka. It started off innocently enough...heh heh heh. We decided to play a drinking game called "Circle of Death". Well we all know what happens when drinking games are played. It resulted in us all getting really drunk and running out of alcohol. Luckily, Tricia's mom was there and sober and she went to get us MORE. YAY! Tricia's mom! YAY! After she dropped off some more alcohol for us, she left. This is when we decided it would be okay to start watching porno. Now if you asked me a few years ago if I would be watching porno with Piggy (that is what I call Tricia's sister, Jen), I would have laughed at you and done a Danny Thomas spit take. But last night, I watched porno with Piggy. This led to many a discussion about lesbian sex, gay porn, circumsized vs. uncircumsized, threesomes, bikini line grooming and ended with several of us sending pictures of our boobs to some virgin friend of Tricia's named Fritz who was supposedly afraid of mammaries. (I know, Lee, what is he thinking?) I believe the entire boob thing was prompted by Tricia's friend, Dawn, not remembering that I had already showed her, what I started referring to last night as "my fake nipple", back in July at another party I went to with Tricia. Also another gal there had just gotten a nipple peircing and we all wanted to see it. Soon enough all boobs were being whipped out and there was comparison of size, perkiness, arreola size/color, and overall attractiveness. Slowly but surely, people began to pass out. Phyllis being the first at 10 pm. As usual, Tricia and I closed the shit out being the last to fall asleep. However, I do not appreciate sleeping on the floor. No matter how drunk I am, it sucks. But there were too many of us there to all sleep on a bed, couch, etc. I tried to sleep but Kerry was snoring like a trucker and Tricia's heater sounds like it is going to explode every time it turns on. I went in the living room and found an empty chair and stole it and managed to sleep for a half hour or so but the prospect of 3 empty beds to chose from only 20 minutes away and the alcohol wearing off was too great and I left at 9 or so. I came home and slept for a few hours.


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