This is Dane Cook. You have no idea how much I love this man. The very thought of him makes my nipple hard. He has got to be the hottest, sexiest man ever created, and the funniest. I just finished watching his cohosting clips from the Jimmy Kimmel Showand fuck me, he is so fucking hot. I have extreme sexual fantasies of us getting it on and him saying,"My dick feels like corn." I not missing a beat say,"Gimme the butter baby. Yeah Orville Redenbacher, pop that pussy."
Everyone give much love to livliterally. We all know how any form of attention or praise makes me purr like a kitten doped up on the nippage.
To clear up some confusion, I do indeed have 2 twins. Saladwhore is my we like almost all the same things, do the same things, grew up in the same area, look a like, sleep with a security blanket twin. Whereas Devian is my "You found the other half of an ancient golden amulet given to me by my fairy godmother" sort of twin. I give you both the title of my twin.
So let me tell you this little story about how much my husband cares about my ability to see things. Picture it, Lynnwood, WA, our living room, 4 months ago.
Me: Honey, I really need to get new contacts. Can you check and see if I am covered under your vision insurance?
TH: Sure. I will talk to Randy about it tomorrow.
Fast forward to now. My disposable contacts that should be changed every month have now been residing in my eyes for the better part of a year. I can hardly see out of them anymore. I mention something to the husband about this. He looks at me and says he will check into it. So finally 4 months later, I will have the ability to see things again. The husband apologized for allowing this to drag out. I told him that was typical of him because it really had nothing to do with him and because of his self centered nature he disregarded my blindness. If it had been him without the ability to check out women's camel toes at the gym, he would have had an ambulance take him to the eye doctor.