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The Truth about Men....

2004-01-18 & 11:06 a.m.


Anyone who thought my last entry was true...raise your hand. *Courtney smacks you upside the head*

I thought that entry was alarmingly funny when I wrote it. (Could have been the Rum and Coke laughing but I could have sworn it was funny....) So I told the husband that I wrote a really funny entry and I started to read it to him. After the first paragraph he was freaking out, he said, "But that's not true. And I don't want people thinking I have a damaged penis." I got really pissed because he totally ruined my storytelling momentum. He didn't get the joke and because I had to explain it, it got ruined. I got really pissed at him for this. And it pisses me off that he always cares about "how he comes off" in MY diary. I tell him he comes off exactly how he is and if he has a problem with that then he better shape up or ship out. It is not my job to make sure he gets portrayed in the best light. It is his job to make sure he has good behavior that warrants mentioning. Most of the time this is not the case. Most of the time he is like most men who do just enought to get by without going beyond the call of duty. Occassionally they do something good worth mentioning. But most of the time they do things like, eat your takeout, forget to let the dogs out, complain about you being on the computer while they are hogging the television with the XBox, driving really slowly on the expressway, walking really slowly in the supermarket unaware that there are other people behind him trying to get through, taking forever to decide what you want when you are in line at a fast food joint....things like that. I mean he does good things, he suprised me with "A Mighty Wind" tickets, when I hurt my foot he got me things (after I screamed and yelled at him that he had to help me), he worries about me when I don't feel good...so those things are nice. He just thinks I only say the bad stuff about him in this here diary when really I just need to vent about him somewhere. I assured him that my diaryland peeps weren't hatin' on him.

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Hello, lady in the Toyota Corolla...can I ask you a question? How the fuck do you rear end a bus? Did you not see the massive bus structure in front of you? And Hi..man in Ford F150 behind her...how do you rearend someone who just rearended a bus? The bus was clearly stopped. Did neither of you see it?

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In surfing some diaries last night I noticed something about Diaryland...with the exception of a few of my buddies, almost all of them are females and gay men. The exceptions being UncleBob, Bluelinepaper, Dangerspouse, DiscotheKid, LeeboZeebo (although some gal thought he was a lesbian), TheCritic, and MaskedMofo. So out of my list of 75 favorites, 7 are straight men, 7 are gay men, and the rest are all women. I guess women are more likely to be into the whole diary thing.

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I have to go play Operation Dog Out with Ashley today. She is in a rental house and does dog sitting at her house. He land lady is coming by to look at the house today so we have to smuggle 3 dogs out of there in my car. Why my car? Because Ashley only has one car. A Ford Mustang. Great car to own when you have Great Danes and multiple dogs staying at your house. So she requires my Jeep to smuggle the bastards.


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